cybersyncing said: ok but hear me out: The Hobbit where everything is the same except Bilbo has the personality of Martin Freeman
That quote doesn't make me feel so bad for for spending all my time on tumblr. hehe C:
I ALMOST CRASHED ON THE FREEWAY BECAUSE I REMEMBERED THIS AND WAS LAUGHING SO HARD
EVERYONE NEEDS toWatCH THIS IM cRYIGN
Jesus fuck I am in someone else’s house trying to contain my laughter so they don’t think I’m absolutely fucking ridiculous
NO NOT AGAIN
So today on the bus there was this little boy, he was talking to his mom about how he had a crush on someone in his class. His mom asked him “Oh, what’s her name, honey” and he said “no”. All she said was “Oh, is it a boy then?” with a smile on her face, and then asked what his name was. Then the boy told her to guess and so the conversation went on.
This is how a parent should react, all respect to this woman.
if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao
I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior. I had a real sword with me, too. I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion. Some woman walks by, with her little girl. The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight. But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.” You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?” And the girl looked around and saw me. I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood. So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?” And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating. Like she thinks I’m going to say no. So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her. And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.” I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.
my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn’t even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and I’ll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life.
i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?